


Starman

by HeadFullOfAliens



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alpha Nigel (Charlie Countryman), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Asperger Syndrome, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Spacedogs, They don't instantly like each other, not so much, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-31 05:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadFullOfAliens/pseuds/HeadFullOfAliens
Summary: Not so long after moving to California, Adam has a strange encounter with a wounded man. By trying to help him, he accidentally becomes friends with a dangerous criminal –-one who's trying to recover.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> It's been so long after I've written anything. I was listening to David Bowie's "Starman", and I just _had to_ write something.
> 
> This is most likely going to be a bit of a slow burn fanfic (what I mean with this is that they don't instantly like each other, haha, that's it). I just needed some more SpaceDogs in my life. ;-;
> 
> My writing skills are definitely rusty, so apologies for that.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Oh, how he wished to be told he truly didn’t belong there._

Looking up into the stars, his mind wandered to other worlds. His headphones blocking all sound; no music because that’d ground him down here. The stars seemed to speak to him, their light whispering into his mind.

_Come home,_ they’d seem to say.

Maybe it was an unhealthy coping mechanism. Maybe he should be trying to ground himself to Earth. Going to a therapist so he could learn how to interact with people, how to look at them in the eye. How to be interested in talking to them, how to get a partner and be a caring Omega.

Instead, he found himself up there every night, at the rooftop of his cheap apartment in California, stargazing until his eyelids threatened to close for the night. He’d name every constellation he’d see, count every star, trying to recognize the light of each one. Wishing he could be up there, instead of down here.

Life was hard here. He had a nice job, nice co-workers, nice furniture. His department was small, but he was alone, anyway. The silence seemed so pleasant he’d often forget he’d have to deal with noise come next day. He’d lose himself to the stars so often he’d forget he wasn’t one of them. He had enough money to buy another telescope; yet life seemed to be lacking.

Earth seemed so foreign to him. It had always seemed so; even back at home. Other people seemed so strange, so out of reach. Even those of his own secondary gender just didn’t seem understandable to him. Let alone the others.

Maybe Adam was the one out of reach. Always lost in his own thoughts, always looking up instead of to their faces. Wishing to be somewhere else.

Blue fields covered in snow. A small planet orbiting a red dwarf, perhaps. A tidally-locked planet where you could only be comfortable if you lived exactly in the middle of the harsh division. A lonely planet; no population but him.

How comfortable would he be, looking up at the sky with no worries, with no one to bother him. In his own planet, no one could force him to make eye contact. No one could tell him he didn’t know how to love. No one could yell at him for being a single Omega about to turn 30.

The stars didn’t need to be remembered they were loved. Adam simply needed to gaze at them every night. 

His smile quickly turned into a grimace. He didn’t want to remember those things.

_“Fuck.”_

Had he cursed out loud? _No._ That was someone else panting.

_Oh, no._ His mind started racing. Someone was hurt. Had they seen him? Would he need to go assist them?

He pushed his knees against his chest, rocking back and forth, his eyes watering as fear took over him. _Calm down, calm down,_ he tried to whisper to himself as the panting and swearing continued.

_Flop._ Something hit the ground.

Was that someone… dead?

_I am not afraid,_ Adam tried to tell himself. _This is only another occurrence in human life. Nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t have to be afraid, there’s nothing to fear, I don’t have to be afraid…_

He crawled to the end of the rooftop in a quick motion, almost falling down, his hands holding onto the edge with such strength his knuckles turned white. He looked down before he could stop himself.

_Oh no, there’s a dead man down there._

_Run, or hide? Run, or hide?_ His legs decided for him. He ran towards the stairs, panting desperately, ‘til he was safely inside. There, he froze once more. He looked at the door. Should he go check on the corpse of the man? Should he call the police? Harlan? Should he just ignore everything and try to sleep?

Someone else would find the body, wouldn’t they? Come morning, someone would go out and find the man laying down there with a bloody wound. Adam didn’t need to tell anyone. Someone else could find the man.

But what if he was still alive? What if he was letting an innocent man die?

_Bad idea,_ he thought as he walked to open his door, his head peeking out fearfully. The man’s body was just six feet away from Adam’s door. He was so close Adam could see the man’s face, even in the dark. His silver hair framed masculine features, a hand to the side of his head, bloody knuckles that suddenly twitched. He didn’t smell of a corpse, but of wood and a musky scent.

He was still alive.

“Excuse me?” was all Adam could muster to say. “Are you okay?”

The not-a-corpse grunted. Adam gave a step outside of his house.

“Sh – Should I call an ambulance?” another fearful step. He was now close enough to see the Alpha’s ribcage going up and down painfully.

“No,” the man replied abruptly. “I’m okay. Just… Help me get up.”

Adam gulped before nodding. “Okay,” he figured he should walk towards the man, but his legs didn’t seem to respond to his brain. He raised a hand hesitatingly, scratching the back of his neck, before essentially forcing his legs to step forward. Slow step after step, he found himself in front of the not-dead man. How was he supposed to help him?

“Get an arm around my back,” he was ordered. Adam obeyed, awkwardly kneeling besides him. “Wrap my arm around your back now.”

“Okay,” he did as he was told, lifting the heavy arm. Doing so, he noticed the man’s wrists were all scarred. What exactly had happened to him?

“Now try to get up,” the Alpha instructed. 

“Ow,” he was heavier than expected. Of course Adam knew the man would be heavy, but he didn’t expect him to be this heavy. His legs were shaking, and the man’s chest wasn’t even off the ground yet.

“Come on, kid. Try harder.”

“I’m trying,” Adam complained. The man’s chest was finally off the ground. One more little push, and he was able to kneel. _Just a little bit harder,_ Adam thought to himself, inhaling deeply before making the biggest effort of his life to get the man on his feet.

“Fucking finally,” the man complained. Adam thought of asking what he had just said; his voice had seemed so far away. Closing his eyes felt nicer, though, and before he could even register it, his legs gave up under him.

*

Waking up had never felt so bad. Looking around the room, he found a sitting shape at the edge of his bed.

He didn’t quite recognise the Alpha without all the blood on him. It took him a second to realise what he was looking at. How had the man recovered so soon?

“You blacked out,” the Alpha chuckled. “I had to drag us both in here. You slept through the night like a fucking baby.”

A strange man in the middle of the night, with a strange-looking face, able to heal all wounds in a second… It all suddenly clicked in Adam’s head.

“Are you from another galaxy?”

The starman in front of him laughed, voice raspy. “A galaxy filled with fucking violence,” he replied.

“It doesn’t seem so nice.”

“It wasn’t,” the man shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette before puffing it out slowly. “That’s why I’m here now,” he explained. “In your galaxy,” he motioned to the room around him in a sort of mocking manner.

“You can’t smoke in here.”

“I shouldn’t even be here, in the first fucking place,” he got up, wincing in the process. “It’s morning already, so I should be able to go now. Where the fuck am I?”

Adam blinked a couple of times before trying to get up. A motion of the man’s hand stopped him. 

“Aren’t you hurt?”

“Stitched myself already,” he scoffed, ignoring Adam’s words on smoking. “Your bathroom is a bit of a fucking mess. Sorry about that.”

“Wait!” Adam found himself yelling upon seeing the man about to exit his room. When he turned, Adam almost swallowed his tongue. Why had he yelled? “Shouldn’t you clean my bathroom before going away?”

The man got a hand inside a pocket of his jeans, raising an eyebrow at Adam. He pulled out a wallet. 

“I’d rather pay for it.”

“It’s not necessary,” Adam looked down at his hands. “But you can stay for breakfast. I could tell you where to go, if you need medical attention.”

“Don’t fucking fancy hospitals. Food sounds good, though.”

Adam wanted to laugh at the man’s shifty behaviour, accepting the invitation like he really didn’t want to.

“The fuck are you laughing at, kid?”

Oh. He’d done it out loud.

*

“Mac & Cheese,” the man considered his fork before putting it inside his mouth. “And you say this is all you fucking eat? No wonder you’re so damn skinny.”

“I like it,” Adam shrugged. “It has a nice texture.”

“Texture,” he repeated with a mouthful of the thing. “You’re supposed to like food by its taste, not its fucking _texture_.”

“It tastes nice, too.”

The Alpha snorted. “Well, what’s the mac & cheese fan’s name?” He asked. Adam cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. The man smiled. “Your name. I’m having breakfast at your house and I don’t know your fucking name.”

“Oh. Adam,” he doubted a second before dropping his fork to extend a hand to the man. He looked at it, before shaking it with a smile. “What’s your name?”

“Nigel.”

Adam nodded. Noticing he was still holding the man’s –Nigel’s– hand, he let go of it with an awkward wince. They fell into an uncomfortable silence, Adam looking down at his plate while Nigel looked around the place.

“You’re in California,” Adam suddenly remembered to tell him.

“I know I’m in California,” Nigel rolled his eyes. “I meant _where_ in fucking California.”

“The County of Santa Clara.”

“Where in the County of Santa Clara?”

“Not too far away from Mount Hamilton. It’s about fifteen minutes away, by car. I could get you there, if you wanted to.”

“What? To a fucking hospital?”

“No, there’s an observatory there.”

“You want nerds at an observatory to stitch me up,” Nigel snorted. “I trust my own fucking skills, thank you.”

Adam blinked a couple of times. “I don’t think anyone there could stitch you up. Well, maybe Claire; she had first aid training. But I still think a hospital is a better idea.”

“Already told you, sweetheart; I trust my own skills.”

“You can’t be too sure,” Adam shrugged uncomfortably. “Where are you wounded, exactly?”

“Just a cut in the leg,” Nigel replied. “And some bruises here and there.”

“What happened to you?”

Nigel looked at him for a long moment, without moving, his clear eyes almost threatening. Adam regretted asking anything.

“Got in a fight with a Jedi.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you know, Star Wars? Some fucking shit like that. Got beaten up trying to save the galaxy.”

Adam hesitated a whole minute before talking. “Isn’t Star Wars a movie?”

Nigel shrugged. “I don’t really know. Some weird fuckery like that, I guess.”

“You... Defended our galaxy.”

“Sure,” he deadpanned. 

Adam analysed Nigel’s face, trying to get something out of it. He knew it was a lost cause, but he really had nothing else to do. Small talk? He preferred to stare at the man’s strange features. 

He saw the strange lady tattooed on the man’s neck. It al clicked in his head again. Strange Alpha in the middle of the night, wounded, with a funny accent and an ugly tattoo. This man was a _criminal._

_Oh, no._ Harlan had told him what to do if someone broke into his apartment. He had also taught him how to defend himself from aggressive Alphas. But what was he supposed to do if he had let the criminal in himself?

He got up way too fast. He saw Nigel’s fist tighten around his fork. No, he needed to calm down. He needed to calm Nigel down. Not to appear suspicious.

“I… I need to use the bathroom.”

“I told you it was a mess,” Nigel stood up as well. “Won’t you wait until I clean it up?”

Adam gave a step back, eyeing the man nervously, following with his gaze the movement of his hand as he reached for the knife Adam had given him just in case. He swallowed. “No, I – I… I can clean it myself, it’s okay. I just need to… To wash my hands. Yes. I don’t like it when my hands are full of food. I have sensory issues, and it feels so – “

In two quick motions, the man was less than a feet away from him. “You don’t know how to hide it when you’re scared, do you, darling?” His calm voice only made Adam more nervous. “Your face is all red, and you’re hyperventilating. You’re either ready to run, or ready for me to kiss you. And I very much doubt it’s the last one.”

“No, I don’t – “

“Won’t you calm down?” Nigel’s attempt to sound sweet only made it worse. Adam was sure he was going to die that night.

_I never visited Saturn,_ he thought sadly. _Not like I could have walked on it, but –_

“We were doing so well. Can’t we go back to when you thought I was from another planet, or some shit like that?” His hand went to Adam’s shoulder. “I won’t hurt you.”

Adam swallowed, eyeing the hand on his shoulder and the man’s neck intermittently. He couldn’t speak. His throat wasn’t moving. He could barely breathe. The man’s scent wasn’t calming, either.

“Don’t hurt me,” he couldn’t recognise his own broken voice.

Nigel considered him for a second, before suddenly stepping back, his fork back at the table, his hands going through his silver hair in an exasperated motion. “I’m not good with people, you know,” he confessed. “I wanted to thank you for getting me off the ground, fucking pay you for it, whatever, but,” he laughed bitterly, “I’m too paranoid. I got all tense when you got up.”

“I – I’m not good with people, either,” he replied, his voice still a weak sound. “I thought you were going to kill me.”

“Kill you?” Nigel cackled. “Do I look that cruel?”

Adam looked down to his shoes. “I… I thought you were a criminal.”

“I agree you shouldn’t let any fucker into your place,” he replied. “But what? I must be a fucking serial killer just because I’m some sketchy, wounded Alpha?”

“It… It was a logical assumption.”

“Then I guess I have to assume you’re some mediocre beta working at retail.” Adam didn’t reply to that. He simply stared at the Alpha in front of him, unsure. Nigel shifted in his place. “I’ll pay for your bathroom.”

“I told you it’s not necessary.”

“Then can I at least thank you in any other way? Buy you a fucking new towel, something?”

“I need a new telescope,” he replied without thinking. “I broke mine last week.”

Nigel smiled at him, his sharp teeth showing. Adam still felt afraid of him. “Sure thing, darling. You’ll have one this afternoon. Thanks for breakfast.”

The door shut closed after a few seconds. Adam stood there for much longer, afterwards.

He hoped to never see that strange man again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam punches Nigel, has a meltdown, tries to impress him, and gets his number. (Not necessarily in that order)

The knocking on his door made him jump out of his sitting position. He had to hold onto his laptop so it wouldn’t fall. Placing it carefully to his side on the couch, he got up slowly, trying to make no noise at all. He tip-toed his way to the door, hoping the person on the other side wouldn’t realise he was home.

He didn’t need to ask who it was. The timing, the fact that no one visited him, and the musky scent he got from the other side of the door were enough to let him know it was the Alpha that had been in his apartment that very morning.

“Adam?” the knocking on his door became more insistent. Adam felt as if someone was playing drums inside his brain. It hurt. “I heard you jump, I know you’re in there. Open the fucking door.”

He considered obeying solely for the purpose of making the noise stop.

“Adam,” the yelling continued. He gave up and opened the door, covering his right ear with his free hand. “I got you your telescope.”

Adam looked at the box extended to him. He was pretty sure it was a kid’s telescope.

He grabbed the box, nevertheless. It was a bit heavy. “Thank you,” he remembered to say after a few seconds.

“I owed it to you,” Nigel replied.

Adam nodded. He wasn’t so sure what to do now. Staring at the man’s funny shirt was a bit awkward, especially because he wasn’t going away. Was he supposed to invite him in? Or should he just close the door? Had he forgotten to say something?

“Don’t you need help mounting it?”

“Oh, no,” he replied. “I’ve armed lots of these. I’m an engineer. I know how to do it.”

“An engineer?” Nigel cocked an eyebrow. “They let betas become engineers here?”

Adam blinked a couple of times. What was he supposed to answer? He didn’t know if they let betas become engineers. He had never thought about it.

“Do they not let them, where you come from?”

“Bucharest is a shitty place, even for Alphas,” Nigel shrugged. “You have to be rich and important to study properly,” he explained. “Anyway, it’s Saturday night. Why the hell are you not out?”

“You said you’d come.”

“I was half joking,” he grinned. “So can I come in?”

Adam didn’t need to answer; without waiting a second, Nigel pushed him aside and let himself in.

“I brought this,” he raised his hand to show Adam a bottle of scotch. Oh, no. “Last night I checked, you had no booze. Who the fuck has no alcohol in their place?”

“I don’t drink,” he closed the door hesitatingly, placing the heavy box next to it.

“Sure thing you don’t,” the Alpha chuckled.

Adam wanted to ask what he laughed about, but he felt more compelled to grab his laptop and sit back to resume on watching Julia Roberts. As soon as he had gotten cosy and pressed play, he felt a weight to his side sinking into his couch. He paused the video and turned his head slowly, almost with fear. Nigel was sitting with a glass on his hand, his legs spread, and the top of his shirt unbuttoned.

He was an attractive Alpha, Adam had to admit, but that didn’t make the interruption of his routine any better.

“Watching some chick flick?” one of his arms came to rest on the couch, almost touching Adam’s back. His shoulders twitched. The man was too close to him.

“It’s… It’s Julia Roberts.”

Nigel hummed. “Why don’t we watch something more interesting?” He reached for Adam’s laptop, and Adam instinctively curled up into a ball.

“Don’t touch me,” he murmured, his fists around his head so tight his knuckles were white.

Nigel backed away instantly. “Hey, relax,” he raised his hands above his head, almost as if he were proving he had no weapons with him. “I wasn’t gonna harm you, kid, I was just gonna grab your fucking laptop.”

Adam didn’t say anything, didn’t even look as the Alpha stood away from the couch.

“Hope you like that telescope,” he said before going out the door.

*

The sun was high up in the sky, everyone was relatively quiet, and Adam had just had lunch. It should be the perfect day, yet it didn’t seem like he’d be able to focus at work today.

He had spent all Saturday night curled up into a ball after Nigel left, trying to calm himself down, and after it, beating himself down for being that way. Sunday hadn’t been any better; he had been expecting him to come again all day. Needless to say, Nigel never showed up. He should have expected it. Why would anyone come back after such display?

The pencil in his hand broke in half. Oh, no. He was having another meltdown. 

_No, no, not again._

He got up so fast he got dizzy, the papers on his desk forgotten. He walked away as fast as he could, shrinking into himself when people passed by, trying to reach the door. When he was finally outside, he didn’t feel any better.

He reached for his pockets and pulled out a green squeezy ball he carried around with him. Not even that worked. Drumming his fingers against his thighs, nervously walking around, he tried to think of something to calm him down.

Maybe he just needed some space, a bit of air. Walking around could help.

_Oh._ He had to stop abruptly. At a bench near him, under a tree, a familiar figure sat down smoking. _Oh, no. This can’t get any worse._

It took him too long to react. By the time it occurred to him to turn around and leave, Nigel had already looked up and seen him.

What was he supposed to do now? Nigel wasn’t saying hi, nor approaching him. Maybe he could still leave?

_No,_ he decided. _I have to face this._ Squeezing the green ball with his right hand, the left one still drumming his thighs, he approached the Alpha. He stood two feet away from him. Nigel puffed out some smoke, looking up at him.

“You left your alcohol at my apartment,” Adam said. He had thought about trying it. He had opened the bottle, but the smell put him off. It was bitter. Somehow, it reminded him of Nigel. It fitted his dishevelled aesthetic.

“You could’ve drank it. Oh, right, you don’t,” he seemed unimpressed by Adam’s presence. What was he doing there, anyway? And why did he have a black eye?

“Did you get hurt again?”

“How sweet; the astronaut cares about me.”

“I’m not an astronaut, I’m an engi –“

“I know, I know,” he took another drag off his cigarette, and finally threw it away. “You had a suit, though. At your place.”

Adam blinked. “I like to put it on, sometimes.”

Nigel nodded slowly. “You at work? Why don’t you sit down?” He moved to make some more space. “Come on, I swear I won’t touch you.”

“Okay,” he awkwardly sat as far away as possible, crossing his arms over his chest, the ball still in his hand. “And yes, I work here.”

“You know, you shouldn’t tell any stranger where you work,” Nigel commented. “Especially not to one you found beaten up at midnight. Could be dangerous.”

“You don’t seem dangerous,” he replied without thinking. Then, he considered the Alpha’s black eye, and his quick reflexes. “Well, you do, but I don’t think you are.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He laughed. “I was just beaten up again. Shouldn’t you assume I’m a fucking gangster, or something?”

Adam considered his words for a couple of minutes, looking at the ground. Then, he looked at the man besides him. He was fully clothed in black, and even though the clothes were elegant, he still managed to look somewhat dishevelled. Maybe it was his long, silver hair.

“You look like an actor.”

“A fucking actor,” he cackled. “I’m not a fucking slut. And those fuckers rarely ever get beaten up, don’t they? I’m not that, gorgeous.”

“Well, did you win?”

“What?”

“The fight,” he pointed at the Alpha’s eye. “Did you win it?”

Nigel considered his words for a moment. Smiling, he replied, “Yeah, guess you could say that.”

“I’ve fought people, too,” he found himself saying. _What?_ He had never willingly touched a person in his life, let alone to hurt them. “I’m good at fighting.”

If he was good at anything, it was at making Nigel laugh. He was holding his stomach with both hands, tears rolling out his eyes.

“Sure you are, darling,” he coughed, taking a couple seconds more to recover. “You look like you couldn’t kill a fucking fly.”

“I could kill anyone,” he declared, frowning. “I could kill a man. I already have.”

“The Mac & Cheese fan killing someone,” Nigel smiled. “Sure.”

“I’m not lying!” He uncrossed his arms, squeezing his ball. “I have!”

“Yeah,” he turned to face him. “Hey,” he gestured to him. Adam turned slightly, unsure. “I already have a black eye. Come on, make ‘em match.”

“What?”

“You’re all tough, so come on, punch me.”

“I – I can’t punch you,” he frowned.

“Yes, you can,” the Alpha grinned. He motioned to reach for Adam, but he stopped midway. Instead, he pointed to his face. “Right here. Come on, give it all.”

“I won’t punch you, Nigel!”

“I’ll get you a better telescope if it hurts.”

Frustrated, Adam stuck the ball back into his pocket, and rolled his right sleeve up. What was he supposed to do now? He had only punched walls. Oh God, what had he gotten himself into? Would the Alpha punch him back?

“I’ll even get you to a nice Mac & Cheese restaurant, come on.”

So he did. With all of his might, Adam punched the scary Alpha in the face.

“Ow,” he shook his hand, wincing. Nigel was laughing at him.

“You remind me of my brother. Thinking he’s all tough, but he was fucking scared of touching people.”

Adam rubbed his knuckles, frowning. “Maybe he was neurodivergent.”

“Neuro what?”

“He could have been autistic.”

Nigel nodded slowly. “Maybe. Are you?” Adam nodded. “Is it hard?”

“I wouldn’t know,” he said. “I guess it is, sometimes. I’m not very good with people, nor with emotions.”

“Sounds just like myself,” Nigel shrugged. “We could get along, I think. You’d be like my new brother.”

“Where’s your brother now?”

“Not here,” he simply replied. He looked like he was about to say something else, but his phone rang. “Wait.”

Adam heard him talking in a language he didn’t speak. It sounded like Russian at first, and Adam got scared. Had he just befriended a Russian criminal? He then realized it was Romanian. That really didn’t calm him, either. Why had he said all of that? Why had he tried to impress him?

At least he felt better.

“I have to go,” Nigel told him. “Work calls. Can I call you later?”

“I prefer texting.”

“Sure, whatever,” he stood up. “I’ll text you. Your number?” Adam stared at him. “Your telephone number.”

“Oh,” he stood up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He showed his number to Nigel.

“Adam,” Nigel murmured as he saved the number. “Just texted you.”

Adam looked to his phone.

**_(Unknown number)_  
We can still get Mac n Cheese another day.**

“Better get going,” he looked at Adam, hesitatingly. Adam simply nodded. After a few seconds of debating, he simply turned around and left.

At least he had the Alpha’s number. He could message him if the bottle became too annoying to him.

Yeah. That was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's a lot of Nigel trying to be good for Adam and impress him, buuuuut how about some Adam trying to seem badass to impress Nigel? I'm down with it.
> 
> (Nigel totally went there just to see him.)
> 
> (Or maybe he just got lost.)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam goes to a pub, finds Nigel, and they stargaze.

Adam always managed to find himself in some awful predicament, it seemed.

This time, it was his co-workers’ fault, and his own inability to say no when pressured by five people.

“…So then he told me _I_ should be the one to apologize! Can you believe his nerve?”

Adam smiled at the girl in front of him, not entirely sure what else to do. He hadn’t been paying much attention, and trying to change the subject had earned him a dull _“I’m not interested in space and that stuff.”_

Who isn’t interested in space? How was that even possible?

Adam found no answer to it, so he had settled for nodding every time he was addressed. He had also considered faking being busy, but in the middle of a pub filled with people, he really didn’t have much to busy himself with.

“Don’t you think he should have been the one to apologize?” The woman asked him. She was reaching for his arm. Before she could, Adam moved it away from the table.

“Sorry, I have a message,” he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He had no message, he was lying; but what else was he supposed to do?

One of his co-workers had said it was Bob Dylan night, so he _had_ to go. Adam knew they only wanted him to go so he could try to flirt with someone. Needless to say, he would have preferred to stay at his apartment’s roof stargazing.

He scrolled through his phone, not so sure what to do. He needed to pretend he was texting someone, didn’t he? But who would he text? Looking into his contact list, he found only two numbers; Harlan’s and Nigel’s.

He could risk waking Harlan up, but he would probably scold him and tell him to pay attention to the lady. He really didn’t want that. The decision was made, then.

**I need to pretend I’m texting someone.**

He sent it before he could regret it. Waiting for a response, he never got one. Seeing as the woman was still staring expectantly at him, he decided to keep on pretending.

**I really don’t know what to do.  
** **I don’t like being in here. The music is too loud.**  
**Can I accept that Mac & Cheese invitation now?**

Ten minutes passed. No answer.

**Please help me.**

Four minutes later, he was about to give up, stand up, and just leave. That is, till his phone buzzed with a new message.

**_Nigel_  
I’m at work**

He was interrupting him. Oh, no. Nigel would hate him now. He started fidgeting with his phone, nervous. He liked Nigel, he was nice. And now he probably hated him. He had done one of those things people don’t like again, hadn’t he? Nigel had now realised they could never get along, and he would never talk to Adam again, and he would –

**_Nigel_  
I have a sec, tho, can I call you?**

_Talking to Nigel._ That was even worse than not talking to him at all.

**I’ll go to the bathroom, wait.**

“Hey,” the woman suddenly told him. “Why don’t we dance?” she reached to grab his arm.

Adam stood up abruptly, yanking his arm away from her grasp. “I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me.”

He almost ran away, slowing only to not rush into people. When he finally got to the bathroom, he was glad all the cubicles were empty. He locked himself into one, and pulled out his phone.

**Okay, I can, now.**

He was a bit nervous, to be honest. He wasn’t much of a phone call fan. When his phone buzzed, he almost threw it. Trying to breathe in slowly, he dragged the green button and put the phone to his ear.

No one said anything at the other side of the line. Had he hung up by mistake? He was too nervous to look.

_“Kid?”_

“Oh, hi.”

_“I wasn’t sure you had picked up. You didn’t say a fucking word.”_

“Sorry,” he replied. “I wasn’t sure I had picked up, either.”

Nigel laughed. It was a really nice sound to hear, with all the awfully loud music in the background. _“What the hell did you get yourself into?”_

“I’m at a pub,” Adam explained. “Some co-workers insisted that I came here. I know they wanted me to hook up with someone, but I’m not good at that.”

Nigel hummed. _“That Bob Dylan in the background?”_

“They said it was Bob Dylan night, yes.”

_“You stalking me, darling?”_

“I’m not stalking you,” he frowned. “I’m in a bathroom. Aren’t you working?”

 _“Precisely,”_ he said. _“I have some time, though. Went to grab a smoke, and I thought I’d take the chance to call you.”_

“Thank you,” Adam said. “I was in an uncomfortable situation. I think a woman was trying to hook up with me.”

_“What?”_

“She kept on talking about something, and she was trying to touch me,” he told Nigel. “I tried to talk to her about the Cassini spacecraft, but she said she wasn’t interested in it.”

Nigel laughed. _“You shouldn’t talk about that science shit when you’re on a date. Take that as professional advice.”_

“I don’t know what else to talk about.”

 _“Just nod and smile, gorgeous,”_ he laughed. _“They just want you to pretend you’re listening.”_

“I’m not really good at that. I prefer to talk about space. The Cassini spacecraft is not too far away from finishing its mission, and –“

There was yelling in the background. Nigel cut Adam off to yell back something in Romanian. _“Sorry, gorgeous, work calls. I can get you out of there as soon as my shift’s over, in about twenty minutes.”_

“Okay,” Adam said. “Can I pretend to text you in the meantime?”

 _“Sure thing,”_ Nigel laughed. _“You can tell me more about that Casino shit you were talking about. I’ll message you when I’m out.”_

“It’s the Cassini spacecraft.”

More yelling. _“Yeah, that. Later, spaceman.”_

Before he could answer, Nigel was gone. Adam stayed at the bathroom for a bit longer, just looking at his phone screen. _Twenty minutes,_ he thought to himself. _I just have to resist for twenty more minutes._

*

By the time he had gathered enough willpower to stand up and get out, he had already texted Nigel all he knew about the Cassini spacecraft. Walking out of the toilets, he wasn’t so sure what to do now. He couldn’t go back to sit with his co-workers, but he also couldn’t sit anywhere else. The place was filled with people who didn’t even seem to speak English. 

The bar was mostly empty, though, so he settled for sitting there.

The bartender looked at him, expectantly. “Can I get you something?”

Adam felt cold sweat rolling down his back. Was everyone going to talk to him? He didn’t even drink. What was he supposed to say? Would they kick him out if he didn’t ask for anything?

“Scotch,” he nervously said, remembering Nigel’s bottle. The glass that was poured in front of him didn’t smell any better than Nigel’s stuff.

Hesitatingly, he took the glass with one hand. With the other, he pulled his phone out.

**I’m about to drink some of that thing you brought to my house some days ago.**

He decided to take a pic of the glass, and send it to Nigel.

“Oh, no,” the front camera had been on, and he had snapped a picture of his perplexed face, instead of the glass. His finger had automatically pressed ‘send’.

**I meant to take a picture of the glass.**

Someone’s phone buzzed, next to him. “Your eyes look really fucking blue under this shitty light.”

Adam startled, turning to see Nigel sitting next to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same,” Nigel grinned, snatching the glass from Adam’s hand. “I work here.”

Before Nigel drank it, Adam snatched it back from him. He felt as though he had to prove something, by drinking it, so he did. He winced; it tasted as awful as it smelled. How did anyone like that?

“Why is your eye purple again?”

“Security,” Nigel replied. “I kick out the assholes who get too drunk here. My shift is over, though, so we can get the hell out of here.”

“Okay,” Adam stood up, following Nigel outside the pub.

*

“Do all Alphas work in security?” Adam asked him, sitting at a bench in a park near the pub. The music was still hearable, although barely.

“I guess it suits us,” Nigel shrugged. “But it’s like saying all Betas work as engineers.”

“I don’t know if they do,” Adam replied. Looking up at the skies, he wondered if he could talk about Jupiter. It was visible that night, and Nigel was looking at it, too.

Was this a date, though? Was he not allowed to talk about space, like Nigel had told him?

Maybe he should just shut up, so Nigel wouldn’t get bored of him.

“You look like you want to say something,” Nigel told him. “Just fucking say it already.”

Adam looked down at his hands. “You told me it wasn’t okay to talk about space in a date.”

Nigel snorted. “In a date,” he repeated. “What’s that bright shit there?” he pointed towards the sky.

“Jupiter,” Adam answered simply, biting his tongue not to say more. He didn’t want Nigel to go away.

“And that one?”

“That’s the constellation Virgo. Next to it, it’s the Crow.”

“Fucking weird names,” Nigel snorted. “I don’t see any fucking crows there.”

“It was what ancient civilizations interpreted them as. Most of the names remained, but we now tend to name galaxies and stars with numbers and letters.”

“Putting it that way, I guess it’s fucking easier to name them after mundane shit.”

“Not everything is mundane,” Adam replied. “Jupiter is named after the roman god Jove. All Solar System planets are named after roman deities.”

“You know a lot about this space stuff,” Nigel looked at him. “Why?”

“I’ve always liked space,” Adam shrugged. “It’s interesting, and as a kid, it was easier to understand than humans.”

“I fucking bet it is,” he laughed. “It’s interesting, though. I never pay attention to the sky, not that much. Stars are fucking pretty, sure, but I never stop to think about their names, or anything.”

“Most people don’t. The woman at the pub wasn’t interested in space, either.”

“She cut you off real bad, though,” he scoffed. “What a bitch.”

“She’s not a bitch,” Adam replied. “I understand people aren’t interested in what I say. And you told me I shouldn’t talk about it in dates, anyway. So sorry for bringing it up.”

“You can talk about stars all you want, darling.”

Adam considered the Alpha next to him for a moment. He was looking at him, smiling. Adam couldn’t really tell, but he wished he was being sincere. He looked like he was.

He looked down at his shoes. “I know I annoy people with it, but I like space a lot. I don’t want you to get bored of me, though. I like you. I don’t want you to go away because I can’t stop talking about space.”

“You like _me?_ ” Nigel cackled. “That’s something new.”

“This is new to me, too,” Adam replied. “I know I keep referring to this as a date, but I don’t really know if it is, and my last date was with a Beta. If this is a date, I had never had one with an Alpha before. I had never befriended an Alpha, in general.”

“Don’t think I mind it being a date,” Nigel shrugged. “It sure is better than any fucking date I’ve had,” he smiled sadly. “I used to be married to an Alpha, you know, so some date with a Beta can’t be that much of a fucking deal.”

Adam held his knees against his chest. “Did you break up?”

“You know, you can just keep talking about space, darling; I don’t mind it.”

“I told you I don’t want to bore you.”

“And I told you you’re not fucking boring. You’re interesting, so shut the fuck up with that self-pity bullshit.”

Adam nodded slowly. “Was he from Romania, too?”

“ _She_ was,” Nigel looked like he was doubting. Adam wondered if he should stop asking about it. “She left me for some Beta idiot,” he snorted. “And I came here to run away from all that.”

“I came here running away, too,” Adam said. “Not from another country, though. I’m from New York.”

Nigel ruffled his hair, laughing. “What could someone like you be running away from?”

Adam shrugged. Nigel’s hand moved from his hair to his shoulders. It felt nice, but the memories were ruining it. “I used to date a girl, but she thought I didn’t love her because I didn’t say it too often.”

“She didn’t deserve you, then.”

“She deserved better than me,” Adam replied. “I can’t love people, not like they want me to.”

“It’s a matter of fucking perspective; there’s nothing wrong with you. Talking so passionately about space, isn’t that love?”

Adam shrugged as all answer.

“I think she’s a fucking idiot. I think anyone who says anything bad about you is a fucking idiot. You’re taking so much time and effort to try and explain them about what you love, ‘cause I bet you did, you try to include them into what you’re so passionate about – and they have the nerve to tell you that isn’t love?” he laughed. “Anyone who says that isn’t love is a fucking moron.”

Nigel was too close to him. Adam wanted to tear up – Someone really thought that way? Was he able to recognize the effort he put into showing someone his affection, even if it wasn’t with words?

He didn’t think about it twice; before he could regret it, he dragged Nigel by his collar to kiss him. He had wanted to do that all night; it felt so good, like he was floating amongst the stars. He sighed against his mouth, breaking the kiss just to smile.

“You’re a real charm,” Nigel said, ”but you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me.”

Adam let go of his shirt, slowly backing away. “I…” What was he supposed to do now? He had misread the situation. Nigel wasn’t interested in him. Oh, God, he had lost him forever, hadn’t he? Tears started welling up in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, voice broken. “I’m sorry, I thought…”

“Don’t apologize,” Nigel smiled at him, ruffling his hair again. “I’m just saying, I’m not who you think I am. You wouldn’t like me.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he quietly said, looking down at his hands.

“You didn’t,” Nigel stood up, helping Adam do so as well. “I’ll walk you home, yeah? You said you don’t drink, so that scotch probably got to you too hard.”

Adam started walking slowly, his head down. “I don’t want you to stop talking to me.”

“I won’t,” Nigel told him. “You have my number, remember? You can call me when you’re feeling better.”

Adam nodded, sniffing. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my own heart writing this, I'm so sorry. :'(
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> The rating might change over time.
> 
> Thank you for reading! :D


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